Insomnia is a bastard
If there's one thing I hate above everyone on my extensive list of people I hate, it's insomnia. Yes, that's why I'm blogging at 5:40am. It's like my mind is exhausted but my body just won't let me rest. This is the first time I've had insomnia before a work day so the rest of the day is going to be very interesting. I blame the 3 hours nap I had when I got home.
It's a weird sense of disembodiment I get during a bout of insomnia. This however does not compare the feelings of frustration, anger and the urge to simultaneouly kill anyone I come into contact with as well as myself. I think that's why I hate insomnia most of all, the fact that it really makes killing myself an attractive prospect since it seems the only way out. What else can I do? It's too late to go to sleep now even if I could, I've got to be up and out for work at 7:30. I just know that when I get home I'll be wrecked, but if I go to sleep I'll feel like I'm cheating myself. I work all day so that I can have some time to myself at night. If I just fill that with slepp, well it's not that entertaining....there was a point I was gonna make there but I've already got to the stage where I can't finish thoughts.
It's a shame too 'cos I'd just started to dream again. Not every night, but enough. The one where I was in a school of hot female vampires trying to kill me was pretty cool, although it had my heart racing when I woke up because all I did in it was run from room to room trying not to die. The other morning I had one where I was playing the board game "operation" or something and I made a mistake so the buzzer sounded, only it wasn't the buzzer, it was my alarm clock. I lay there for eleven minutes just listening to my alarm without realising. Weird.
Anyway, guess I'll get some breakfast, maybe slit my wrists, or go to work. Whatever.
It's a weird sense of disembodiment I get during a bout of insomnia. This however does not compare the feelings of frustration, anger and the urge to simultaneouly kill anyone I come into contact with as well as myself. I think that's why I hate insomnia most of all, the fact that it really makes killing myself an attractive prospect since it seems the only way out. What else can I do? It's too late to go to sleep now even if I could, I've got to be up and out for work at 7:30. I just know that when I get home I'll be wrecked, but if I go to sleep I'll feel like I'm cheating myself. I work all day so that I can have some time to myself at night. If I just fill that with slepp, well it's not that entertaining....there was a point I was gonna make there but I've already got to the stage where I can't finish thoughts.
It's a shame too 'cos I'd just started to dream again. Not every night, but enough. The one where I was in a school of hot female vampires trying to kill me was pretty cool, although it had my heart racing when I woke up because all I did in it was run from room to room trying not to die. The other morning I had one where I was playing the board game "operation" or something and I made a mistake so the buzzer sounded, only it wasn't the buzzer, it was my alarm clock. I lay there for eleven minutes just listening to my alarm without realising. Weird.
Anyway, guess I'll get some breakfast, maybe slit my wrists, or go to work. Whatever.
posted by The Warthog at
5:37 am
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