Hair/mental change rantings

The haircut seemed to go down well at work. Many people didn't even recognise me, which I did find amusing. People still maintain the "You look respectable" statement, which still makes me realise that people must have thought I looked like a bum. But, overall the reaction was very good. It's even starting to grow on me a little (as hair does). I've still not found a hair product I'm particularly happy with though.

Maybe it could be an excuse for internal changes. New outside, new inside. I'm not sure yet. Especially since people are still reeling from the last changes I made (although not by choice of course). Isn't it weird how looking different can make you feel different? I started out with that old unrepressable rage I used to suffer from. Going to Baja didn't help there. But, it feels like it could be a mouldable change. What would I want to become though?

I do lack confidence. Not so much in a mental "I know what I'm doing" sense. I think I've got my fair share of that. No, it's more of a confidence with new people doodad. If it's an environment in which I can actually talk in then I'm okay-ish. Depends if I've got anything to talk about, something in common maybe. Not that I really believe that you need anything in common, but I guess it gives a starting block.

I can never really go up to a stranger in a club and start talking to them. For one, I can never tell what the hell they're saying. Secondly, and not to labour the fact, but I have no confidence. I've convinced myself that no one will like me and I've come to terms with that. That's why I don't even bother. Maybe a haircut can change all that. Maybe that's a big pile of bollocks, but it may be worth a go. Maybe the change will come all by itself, I guess I may never find out 'til I let it. Maybe I'm putting all my eggs in one basket, maybe I just need to find a new place to harvest eggs. It's something I've pondered for a while, but where is the chicken coop for me? Where can I find somewhere quiet, alcohol filled and sociable? Hmmmm......but then you've got the fact that in a pub environment you don't really see the whole walking up to random strangers thing going on. Ah. What about friends of friends? Yeah, I can imagine that:

"Hey *enter name here*, how's it going? You see *blah blah blah* last night? No? Too bad......Got any single friends?"

I've said it before though (not that, what I'm about to), life would be boring if it was easy.