Artichoke!!!!

If you ever hear me scream the word artichoke, come running, for the love of God come running. For this is the super secret code word for danger in the most unsociable situations....obviously it's not much of a super secret, or even a secret anymore, but it should work just the same.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against this hideous mistake of nature. But it's one damn ugly vegetable. If I mention it to you in passing, just burst in with something to break the ice, just in case. Even if you're absolutely positive I'm in no danger.

I shall hold a regular emergency test each Wednesday at 10am, assuming I'm not asleep. You have been warned.