He's here.....oh wait, he has been for 5 months :P

Sorry for the long pause....althought it's now what I'm known for....not that anyone reads anymore, so I'm not strictly known for it I guess. You know, I don't think I rant irl, so why do I here? I guess my head keeps all this in and spills its guts whenever it can. Anyway, I'm going to continue to pretend that I'm talking to someone else and get us on our way.

First things first, our little boy (Oliver Jack) was born on 18/10/2009 at 00:34. Why was I paying such close attention to the time? Well he was due on 17th and towards the end it felt like a race. Once you get into the 40th hour of labour (that's right, we hit the 40 mark), the doctors intervene. Turns out that he was being an awkward sod and had his head cocked to the side so all the pushing was just wedging him in more. They had to use foreceps (spelling? Maybe a T in there somewhere) and they left a wicked temporary mark (that all the chicks would have dug, but it faded in a couple of days. Tough luck son. Here's a picture of it for when you're older).

He came out well other than that and was the happiest baby you've ever seen right up until his first jabs. He screamed the entire day and was generally unhappy for the whole 4 weeks until just before his next set of jabs. Then he cheered up. Luckily for us he's getting better with them and his latest set barely had an effect. I love the way he wakes up in the morning and gives us a big gummy grin. Like he's so pleased to see us. Don't get me wrong, life isn't exactly easy for him or us. He started getting teeth in the first 2 months or so and he's still having trouble with them (he's 5 months today and none of the teeth are completely through yet). Poor kid.

I can't help but say (and I know that I'm biased) that he's the most gorgeous baby I've ever seen. He's probably the smartest too. He was doing things like following objects and noises since he was 3 days old and most don't start that until around 3 months. He's determined to walk before he can crawl and wouldn't let us rest until we either let him start weening early, or let him eat the dog. I think we made the right decision.

His latest trick is to roll onto his front (not always successfully) and then kick off that he's actually managed it. He won't stop complaining until he's on his back again....and then the cycle continues.

He did the best thing the other day. Nic took his nappy off to let him wriggle, at which point he decided to wee all over his own face. He didn't like it. If only I had the camera to hand :D

I know this is a bit early, but from what I've gathered so far, here's a few tips for new parents:

1) Buy as much as you can before they're born. You won't have the time or energy to shop once they're here.

2) Don't bother with re-usable nappies. They're great in theory, way way too much work in practice.

3) Try not to stress as much. Babies can smell fear. You're (probably) not going to break them.

4) Try to make eye contact when they do. There's no greater feeling than having your son (or daughter) stare up at you with admiration.

5) Try to strike some sort of deal with your partner. We decided that one takes the night feeds and the other gets up in the morning and takes him downstairs so night parent can get some shut eye. You can see from the picture how I am even with this system, imagine if we didn't have it. Hell, at least I caught up on all the stuff I'd recorded on the sky box :P

6) Whatever you do, don't listen to (the ridiculous amount of) people who tell you to sleep when the baby does. This is suicide. Firstly because they start out by sleeping around 16 hours, then once you'll get used to that they sleep less and you're screwed. The second, and more important reason, is that if you sleep when they do, you literally have to time to yourself. You're caught up in baby things all day and if this happens you'll feel like you are going mad. As much as you love your kids, you shouldn't stop being yourself completely. You need a couple of hours to watch a film, play a game, anything. Read a book! The last thing anyone wants is for you to resent your kids (which I definately don't). Many feel that their lives are over because they have someone to protect night and day. Don't be like that. A big shout out at this point to both our sets of parents for helping us out in this way.

I'd like to finish up by thankig my beautiful Nic for producing such a great kid and travelling with me through this minefield of exploding nappies and projectile vomit :)