The Unfortunates
Currently I have put together a group of people as something of a support group called The Unfortunates. Let me start at the beginning.
A few months back, a 'girl' asked me out at work. What first threw me off balance was the way she put it. After babbling on about who she thinks is cool and whatnot, and I said "I suppose so" (bare in mind I was still in shock at this point), she proceeded to tell me "I'm just tired of telling people I'm single". Yeah, I know, doesn't inspire you with confidence does it? That and everyone pretending not to laugh around you. Why were they laughing? Well she's pretty manly and built like a rake to put it nicely....that and she's a loon, but not the good kind.
However, once I regained my sanity I said a big NO to that idea and ran for the hills. Don't feel too bad for her though, she got with someone that same night (and most of the workplace it seems).
Around a month later a friend of mine is standing at the bus stop...lets call him Raoul2. This is where we begin to see a pattern. She starts by putting her head on your shoulder, usually without seeming reason (as she had done to me the day before my ordeal). Then she babbles about something mundane and throws the "Do you want to go out?" thing in your face. Unfortunately for R2 she said "We've known each other for a while now" even though they'd never spoken, and she immediately followed with asking his name. Oh how we laughed.
There then followed a string of similar instances and to date we have five such victims ( or UnfortuKnights). I know what your thinking, I look like a shall piece of crap by posting this, but she gives me the creeps. She's 23 and believed no one had heard of the glass being half full/half empty optimist/pessimist test. I get a cold shiver down my spine when she's near, she hugs without warning and generally make no sense at all.
So if you've suffered this ordeal, there's no need to feel alone, the UnfortuKnights are there to laugh at themselves and each other....it's just a shame that you've got to go through these rituals to be a part of us.
Til next time, watch out for that forehead.
A few months back, a 'girl' asked me out at work. What first threw me off balance was the way she put it. After babbling on about who she thinks is cool and whatnot, and I said "I suppose so" (bare in mind I was still in shock at this point), she proceeded to tell me "I'm just tired of telling people I'm single". Yeah, I know, doesn't inspire you with confidence does it? That and everyone pretending not to laugh around you. Why were they laughing? Well she's pretty manly and built like a rake to put it nicely....that and she's a loon, but not the good kind.
However, once I regained my sanity I said a big NO to that idea and ran for the hills. Don't feel too bad for her though, she got with someone that same night (and most of the workplace it seems).
Around a month later a friend of mine is standing at the bus stop...lets call him Raoul2. This is where we begin to see a pattern. She starts by putting her head on your shoulder, usually without seeming reason (as she had done to me the day before my ordeal). Then she babbles about something mundane and throws the "Do you want to go out?" thing in your face. Unfortunately for R2 she said "We've known each other for a while now" even though they'd never spoken, and she immediately followed with asking his name. Oh how we laughed.
There then followed a string of similar instances and to date we have five such victims ( or UnfortuKnights). I know what your thinking, I look like a shall piece of crap by posting this, but she gives me the creeps. She's 23 and believed no one had heard of the glass being half full/half empty optimist/pessimist test. I get a cold shiver down my spine when she's near, she hugs without warning and generally make no sense at all.
So if you've suffered this ordeal, there's no need to feel alone, the UnfortuKnights are there to laugh at themselves and each other....it's just a shame that you've got to go through these rituals to be a part of us.
Til next time, watch out for that forehead.
posted by The Warthog at
9:19 pm
2 Comments:
Tis all truth that is read within this blog, this 'girl' is a she devil of the purest evil and hideous in her human form, inducing a shiver of the body from one look and perfuse vomiting at her very touch, a foul beast to be sure. I have suffered at the hand of it and felt tainted to the very soul. Woe to the Unfortunates, for they are good men, why have we been forsaken? Why? Why?
By
Anonymous, at 8:03 pm
Never a fairer question has been asked. Damn, I just got "The shiver" reading that, aargh there it is again.
By
The Warthog, at 12:24 am
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