Shame, guilt et al

Hi. How's it going? I've had a bit too much on my mind recently and to be honest, I've wished I could have gotten round to writing this sooner. I don't think it best to discuss what's been on my mind, but no doubt you'll come to one conclusion or another. Sorry to be ambiguous, but at least it'll give you a puzzle to figure (or preferably not :P). Anyway, the first thought from my way over flowing box of thoughts....

It's dawned on me that for the past, oooh, two months or so, I've felt no shame or guilt.....about anything. I haven't felt guilt for a long time mind you. Hell, if you're going to do something, then you should have considered it first, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. I suppose this is one advantage about not being spontaneous.....obviously there are disadvantages, but that hasn't been a problem so far.

Shame on the other hand is a newly lost mental state. I used to be an incredibly shy person, I'm still shy, but compared to what I was it's no comparison. Shame was something easy to come by for me. I think I lost it during the sumo wrestling at work. Well I guess you've got to have no shame to get into a fat suit in front of your colleagues and wrestle someone to the ground. Man that tired me out, I was huffing and puffing all day (but I won both fights, despite what Monk says about the second one!). I can't wait to see the pictures.

Some time after this incident I discovered something else new about myself. I seem to have picked up some jealousy from somewhere. I haven't felt this since I was around 10. It's not pleasant and I'm sure I'll be saving it for special occassions. It's my least favourite emotion.